Crazy aspects of Korea: The Rooster's View.

I've been here a wee while now and I have seen some weird shit that just would not happen in New Zealand.

1) The cops here put up with a lot of shit. I know Kiwi cops do as well but last week I saw a cop car pull up a scooter, the guy on the scooter was obviously drunk (as was I) so I thought I would sift on over and investigate. I wish I could of understood the words being said but I definitely knew the body language. The Copper got him off the bike, the derro started yelling, stuck his fingers down his throat and threw up on the cops shoes, as the cop bent over he got a knee to his kisser, the derro leapt on his bike and scooted off!

2) It is considered very normal and natural behaviour for guys to show friendship by holding hands.

3) Males can smoke any where they want, it is very frowned upon for a women to smoke in public. When the Korean chicks are on the juice in a bar they will smoke in the toilet, just like school girls. This leads to massive queues outside the ladies. Foreign chicks hate this, the number of times I have stood guard outside the men's while my chick mates are doing their thing, well I need more fingers and toes. It is hilarious trying to bounce Korean men out of the men's when they are drunk with a full bladder!

4) They have got a Korean fast food chain over here called Lotteria. Last week I had an Octopus burger, if you think thats not cricket the bun was made out of rice glued together!

5) It is nearly impossible to buy a drink of spirits without having to purchase the whole bottle. I don't really have a problem with this one, Johnnie Black bottles go for around 40 pesos.

6) Korean men do not have arm hair, my students have finally gotten over the fact that I do and no longer pull it. Maybe it was the clips around the ears that did it, I'm not exactly sure...

7) Say a bad word about a certain English soccer player with a very similar christian name to me and the girls here start crying. Ugly fucker is not in the Korean vocabulary.

8) Do not let the kids drink coffee in your classroom. Green Tea is fine.

9) Korean food is not called Korean food, it is just food.

10) Spitting is everywhere, and not just the spit out ya saliva but hoiking out your lungs, any where or everywhere, anytime is acceptable. I decided to try this one out for myself. Korean men with a little bit of English will often come up and talk to you. I have discovered a common bonding ritual is a good old lurgy, followed by a smoke.

11) Only one person pays the bill, this is a huge matter of honour to them. It always falls on the oldest male. So Dad please feel free to visit. If you invite someone out for a meal this line can be a bit blurred depending on how well you know each other, or in my case how big the tab is. When I go out with foreigners we don't participate in this charade, if we leave we put money on the table and walk out. Twice I have been the last guy there and both times I have made a profit, free drinks all night and a couple of bucks in the skyrocket. Karma will one day get me and I will lose out big time. Earl taught me that.

I'm sure I'll think of more and I will write another post on this subject.