So we all got to the Train Station at Gupo with some serious hangovers, it really is the best way to travel with our original; plan being to catch the train up the east Coast and hit the Demilitarised Zone which if your an idiot is the strip of land with heaps of mines on it between the North and South. (In one of those James Bond films, the one with the dude who changes his entire body from North Korean to Posh Englishmen and has some sort of ray gun satellite that harnesses the Suns energy and focuses it on this piece of land and blows up all the mines so that the North can attack!)
However that train was not going for another couple of hours so we convinced the dude in charge to let us behind the ticket counter and look at all his maps and shit and just decided to take the next train out of the station. That was a brilliant move on our behalf as it make the entire trip trip random and we always just went to the next place on the next available transport.
We ended up in Suncheong which due to our liquid diet I don't really remember much about it, and then we ended up in Yeosul which was amazing. Our first stop was this bar that had a Tenor there who sang lots of stuff I knew but could not name for you and he spoke a little English and was a top bloke. We were sitting on the balcony overlooking a dead person! We rambled around a little and watch a game of Soccer somewhere, Korea vs Japan in the 3rd/4th playoff for the Asia Cup which Korea won on penalties so was all good before hitting a golden bar. We walked in, after deciphering the menu and realising only beer was available we asked for whisky anyway and got directed upstairs to a bar we had not even seen and we treated like Kings! That place was so out of the way I don't think to many white people have been there before.
I think that we were lucky that we had all been in Korea for around 7 months now and could hold a very basic conversation in Korean which is a tremendous help in getting free drinks. Most Koreans have a smattering of extremely basic high school English so with our Korean and there English and the odd dictionary we managed to keep a conversation going for an entire bottle of scotch with the bar staff and the pissed guys next to us.
After that we hit the beach, it was there that I discovered rice wine, which in phonetic English is called Dong Dong Ju, we were on that beach for around 6 hours, I might of had a skinny dip and I might of bought over $60 of fire works and I may off quite deeply cut my left foot on a boats propeller but.....
From there we decided to go to Sado Island because on the big sign outside the train station there was a picture of a dinosaur on it and I was intrigued. Bearing in mind that the sun is now up, we had been drinking for a nearly a day and a half we managed to find the ferry terminal, hopped on, and went.....to the wrong island. Not to Worry.
That ferry was pretty cool, it was choc a block with people, produce and bloody squid, man I hate that stuff, it's everywhere, dried squid smells crap any way but when it is hot it is disgusting. So we got off on what we thought was the right island, as we disembarked I got a whisper in my ear daring me to jump off, so I did. When I finally managed to haul myself out of the water who was standing there? two coppers! I just started laughing, luckily my mates talked to them for me and we wandered off to explore this next place.
Our taxi driver misunderstood us, we asked to go to the beach, over here the Konglish word for the beach is beachy. The driver took us to a locals house who was called Mr Beachy! Anyway we finally got there and spent the day drinking in the sun, swimming and generally doing nothing. That place was a little backward, not much of anything there but it was cool to see a very different side of Korea.
I'll put the rest up later.
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
Monday, August 06, 2007
Dave's Summer Holiday.
Holidays are all good, I had a week off starting on the 25th July and back at work last Wednesday 1st August. I had to hang around Gimhae for a few days waiting for my mates to finish their work, every one's holidays were different to each other but a few overlapped. So I had a few nights out on the town.
On Friday my racing buddy had his brother over so we went to the races, I was quite excited about it because I usually work on Fridays and as such never get there during the week. So we went to catch the bus there and it didn't show. That should have been our first warning but we just put it down to our lack of Korean language skills. So we took a cab there, once at the track we were wondering why it was so empty. People still at work I thought and not at the races? Well, wrong again, it turned out that the races had been called off due to the heat! It was bloody hot but who cares? I was on Holiday! So we hung around trying to get another cab home. We got a dude to ring us a cab but he called one from Busan not from Gimhae so it was really expensive and we refused it and managed to catch a lift to the highway where we figured we could flag a taxi or at least a bus. Next thing I know my Pommie mate had stuck out his thumb and a few cars later we were off to Jangyu which is next to Gimhae, better than nothing we thought.
When we got back to Gimhae we went to Home plus where we discovered to our delight that rubber dinghy's were on sale, $20 down from $60. I'll have one of those I thought, but something was missing so we got a fishing rod and some bottles of Red wine as well and wandered down to the river in the middle of Gimhae.
What a sight we made! 3 pissed white fullas in a one man rubber dinghy with a 10ft rod, slurping red wine. I have never had so many toots and cat calls come my way in all my life. We tried to buy some fish as bait but once the lady realised we were going to use it as bait and not eat it she refused to sell it to us. (It was my brilliant charades act that got this point across). Tart. So we bought a can of spam and used that only it was pretty crap and kept falling of the hook so we caught some grass hoppers but they were no good as well. So for a few hours we floated down the way, as twilight struck the dry shore based fishermen came out and they were not to happy when we floated by.
Korea is a cool place, the taxi driver did not even flinch we hopped in dripping wet, half cut and with a semi deflated rubber dinghy.Not even when we payed with wet money did he blink his eyes! Sometimes I really wish I knew what is going through their minds when they see the antics foreigners get up to!
So we then went to the pub and the Norebang and met up with some mates who had completed their contract and were on their way outta here to greener pastures.
Around 5 or 6am we decided to crack out the boat again and sail the vast waters of Yungee Park. This time I was too far gone to set up the rod so we left it behind. On this adventure whilst I was tipping my mates out we broke an oar. Don't worry this is Korea anything goes! So we marched back into Homeplus, still dripping wet, by this time we were all absolutely F!@#$%^ed and managed to convince them that the boat only came with one oar and we needed another to make the pair as we were rowing around in circles. And you know what? It worked! Our language skills are coming along very nicely thank you very much.
I get home sometime after sunup only to be awaken by a few phone calls around 12 reminding me that I had to met a different set off mates to do a wee bit of travelling around Korea. I hate forgetting things like that! So off to met the boys for the start of the travels... Numerous trains a couple of ferries, a floating Christian bookshop, two run ins with the coppers and a swollen foot coming up....
On Friday my racing buddy had his brother over so we went to the races, I was quite excited about it because I usually work on Fridays and as such never get there during the week. So we went to catch the bus there and it didn't show. That should have been our first warning but we just put it down to our lack of Korean language skills. So we took a cab there, once at the track we were wondering why it was so empty. People still at work I thought and not at the races? Well, wrong again, it turned out that the races had been called off due to the heat! It was bloody hot but who cares? I was on Holiday! So we hung around trying to get another cab home. We got a dude to ring us a cab but he called one from Busan not from Gimhae so it was really expensive and we refused it and managed to catch a lift to the highway where we figured we could flag a taxi or at least a bus. Next thing I know my Pommie mate had stuck out his thumb and a few cars later we were off to Jangyu which is next to Gimhae, better than nothing we thought.
When we got back to Gimhae we went to Home plus where we discovered to our delight that rubber dinghy's were on sale, $20 down from $60. I'll have one of those I thought, but something was missing so we got a fishing rod and some bottles of Red wine as well and wandered down to the river in the middle of Gimhae.
What a sight we made! 3 pissed white fullas in a one man rubber dinghy with a 10ft rod, slurping red wine. I have never had so many toots and cat calls come my way in all my life. We tried to buy some fish as bait but once the lady realised we were going to use it as bait and not eat it she refused to sell it to us. (It was my brilliant charades act that got this point across). Tart. So we bought a can of spam and used that only it was pretty crap and kept falling of the hook so we caught some grass hoppers but they were no good as well. So for a few hours we floated down the way, as twilight struck the dry shore based fishermen came out and they were not to happy when we floated by.
Korea is a cool place, the taxi driver did not even flinch we hopped in dripping wet, half cut and with a semi deflated rubber dinghy.Not even when we payed with wet money did he blink his eyes! Sometimes I really wish I knew what is going through their minds when they see the antics foreigners get up to!
So we then went to the pub and the Norebang and met up with some mates who had completed their contract and were on their way outta here to greener pastures.
Around 5 or 6am we decided to crack out the boat again and sail the vast waters of Yungee Park. This time I was too far gone to set up the rod so we left it behind. On this adventure whilst I was tipping my mates out we broke an oar. Don't worry this is Korea anything goes! So we marched back into Homeplus, still dripping wet, by this time we were all absolutely F!@#$%^ed and managed to convince them that the boat only came with one oar and we needed another to make the pair as we were rowing around in circles. And you know what? It worked! Our language skills are coming along very nicely thank you very much.
I get home sometime after sunup only to be awaken by a few phone calls around 12 reminding me that I had to met a different set off mates to do a wee bit of travelling around Korea. I hate forgetting things like that! So off to met the boys for the start of the travels... Numerous trains a couple of ferries, a floating Christian bookshop, two run ins with the coppers and a swollen foot coming up....
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
Two weekends ago in Seoul.
I had a good time in Seoul, We left very early and travelled for around 7 hours straight to find this theme park that we wanted to check out. It was called Everland and was pretty cool, it was a theme park and a Zoo! I saw 3 white Tigers, numerous monkeys (those always make me laugh) some camels, two polar bears who were in a tiny enclosure, got a bus ride through a paddock where there was 20 or so lions, heaps of animals. The theme park side of it was awesome, we went on loads of rides and I got some funny photos of me which were taken automatically by a machine on the Roller Coasters.
Then we went to the Casino! It was at the Hilton Hotel and I had to prove that I was a bloody foreigner! cause Koreans can't gamble in Casinos. It was really expensive so I didn't play on the tables and I dropped a fair chunk of change in the pokies before going out in search of Guinness, which I found along with some Jameson's, I ruled the pool table that night!
On Sunday I went to the races where I fell asleep for three of them and then to top it all off we stumbled past a 100% No bullshit Real Deal French Restaurant. FFFFOOOOOOOOODDDDDD!
I had for starters a Salmon Salad thingy with balsamic vinegar, I know this sounds stupid but I really miss food from back home so when I saw the word balsamic I had to go change my undies. Followed by the Scallops in a garlic sauce and washed down with my old mate Johnnie Red. And a chocolate thingy for desert. I paid a small fortune for it but I didn't care one bit!
Caught the last train home and that was that.
Korea is a cool place.
Then we went to the Casino! It was at the Hilton Hotel and I had to prove that I was a bloody foreigner! cause Koreans can't gamble in Casinos. It was really expensive so I didn't play on the tables and I dropped a fair chunk of change in the pokies before going out in search of Guinness, which I found along with some Jameson's, I ruled the pool table that night!
On Sunday I went to the races where I fell asleep for three of them and then to top it all off we stumbled past a 100% No bullshit Real Deal French Restaurant. FFFFOOOOOOOOODDDDDD!
I had for starters a Salmon Salad thingy with balsamic vinegar, I know this sounds stupid but I really miss food from back home so when I saw the word balsamic I had to go change my undies. Followed by the Scallops in a garlic sauce and washed down with my old mate Johnnie Red. And a chocolate thingy for desert. I paid a small fortune for it but I didn't care one bit!
Caught the last train home and that was that.
Korea is a cool place.
Friday, July 20, 2007
Been Locked Out...Been Locked In.
So the Major Typhoon that was meant to hit us turned out to be a wee bit of a storm, I had a feeling it was only bollocks and it was! A bit of wind, a bit of rain and still bloody hot! I can't understand why this is called the Typhoon season, it's only a bit of rain and the Monsoon season was also only a bit of rain, no flooding, no nothing, I couldn't even play in the gutters in my gummies cause there was not enough water!
BUT IT IS STILL BLOODY HUMID and summer hasn't kicked in yet!
So last Friday night I got invited to my mates bosses house for a meal, We had an awesome feed and numerous bottles of Soju followed by a bottle of Ballentines, good knows what I was doing but after I left their house and met some mates on the street I had some apologising on Sunday and Monday to do. Enough Said.
After that incident I ended up in Shinaye market, my mate reminded me off a story about a dude who had a paperclip and traded it up to a house in a year so we came up with a plan to do similar. I was eating some Mangdu (Kinda like a dumpling with veges inside) and we decided to start with that. We ended up with two shopping bags full of veges! It must of been our amazing Korean language skills! We even managed to catch a lift on the back of a rubbish truck for a while and had a few drinks with some Ajumas on the side of the road, apparently I also had a spider with me but I don't recall that.
Some where along the line I lost my bag with my keys in it. So I spent all weekend outta my apartment. I was pretty impressed with my Korean skills though, after talking to a mate who can speak a fair bit and with the aid of my dictionary I manged to find a locksmiths number, call them up, explain the situation and that I needed a guy to come and change my locks for me only to be told that it was the weekend and wait till Monday.
So on Monday I met the locksmith, got into my flat only to find that I did not have enough cash in my pocket and as my wallet was also in my bag I was in a spot of bother but again I managed to make myself understood and got the guy to give me a double on the back of his scooter (he was holding his tool box between his legs and I was waving his drill above my head hoping to spot a fellow foreigner) to my work where my Boss, a dam good lady, lent me some cash. That was after laughing at me for yet another strange drunken incident in Korea.
Any way all sorted now.
Off to Seoul this weekend, tell ya all about it on Monday.
Won poker on Tuesday.
BUT IT IS STILL BLOODY HUMID and summer hasn't kicked in yet!
So last Friday night I got invited to my mates bosses house for a meal, We had an awesome feed and numerous bottles of Soju followed by a bottle of Ballentines, good knows what I was doing but after I left their house and met some mates on the street I had some apologising on Sunday and Monday to do. Enough Said.
After that incident I ended up in Shinaye market, my mate reminded me off a story about a dude who had a paperclip and traded it up to a house in a year so we came up with a plan to do similar. I was eating some Mangdu (Kinda like a dumpling with veges inside) and we decided to start with that. We ended up with two shopping bags full of veges! It must of been our amazing Korean language skills! We even managed to catch a lift on the back of a rubbish truck for a while and had a few drinks with some Ajumas on the side of the road, apparently I also had a spider with me but I don't recall that.
Some where along the line I lost my bag with my keys in it. So I spent all weekend outta my apartment. I was pretty impressed with my Korean skills though, after talking to a mate who can speak a fair bit and with the aid of my dictionary I manged to find a locksmiths number, call them up, explain the situation and that I needed a guy to come and change my locks for me only to be told that it was the weekend and wait till Monday.
So on Monday I met the locksmith, got into my flat only to find that I did not have enough cash in my pocket and as my wallet was also in my bag I was in a spot of bother but again I managed to make myself understood and got the guy to give me a double on the back of his scooter (he was holding his tool box between his legs and I was waving his drill above my head hoping to spot a fellow foreigner) to my work where my Boss, a dam good lady, lent me some cash. That was after laughing at me for yet another strange drunken incident in Korea.
Any way all sorted now.
Off to Seoul this weekend, tell ya all about it on Monday.
Won poker on Tuesday.
Friday, July 13, 2007
Weather.
Man has it been busy here, I've picked up extra work and don't have as much time on the works net at the mo so haven't written for a while.
The follow up from the last story was that the cops turned up, they couldn't speak English and we couldn't speak Korean but it was very apparent that they only wanted the noise down, which we did and then decided to move on to another apartment to carry on the mayhem.
The Monsoon season has hit Korea, they predicted it right to the day when it would turn up and they were right, so it has been very wet here lately, everything is constantly damp and my apartment is smelling a little like washroom cause of the continuous wet, damp smell around. I don't really mind that when it is compared to the next problem. HUMIDITY HERE IS AT 99% AAAAHHHHRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH. As soon as you walk out the door you feel it, the moisture clings to you and in five minutes your sweating like a pig, there is no point in deodorant! I'm lucky that in my classroom I have my own air conditioning and can keep my room at a balmy 18C , at times I put all my energy into wishing for a good dose of proper rain to bring the temperature down a little. I'm kinda used to it now but have been feeling the effects.
Today Japan is being battered by a Typhoon and warnings have gone out that it is about to hit Korea, as the city I live in is only an hours flight from Japan it is expected to hit us shortly, even now the clouds have rolled in black and it is raining. I've heard the horror stories but really I think it's a lot of bollocks where Korean people are just exaggerating the effects of everything. I'm looking forward to it as there is nothing like a good storm to put you to sleep, which due to the night time humidity I have been struggling for 5 hours sleep a night.
So the Monsoon season has ended, Typhoon season has started, as soon as that finishes it will be the summer proper where I am told by my students that the temperature will rise to the mid thirties and the humidity will stay the same. Great, no sleeping for me.
Did I mention I had been to the Korean Cup? as well as the Derby and tomorrow am off to the races again?
Trip to the D.M.Z in three Weekends, that should be bloody interesting!
The follow up from the last story was that the cops turned up, they couldn't speak English and we couldn't speak Korean but it was very apparent that they only wanted the noise down, which we did and then decided to move on to another apartment to carry on the mayhem.
The Monsoon season has hit Korea, they predicted it right to the day when it would turn up and they were right, so it has been very wet here lately, everything is constantly damp and my apartment is smelling a little like washroom cause of the continuous wet, damp smell around. I don't really mind that when it is compared to the next problem. HUMIDITY HERE IS AT 99% AAAAHHHHRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH. As soon as you walk out the door you feel it, the moisture clings to you and in five minutes your sweating like a pig, there is no point in deodorant! I'm lucky that in my classroom I have my own air conditioning and can keep my room at a balmy 18C , at times I put all my energy into wishing for a good dose of proper rain to bring the temperature down a little. I'm kinda used to it now but have been feeling the effects.
Today Japan is being battered by a Typhoon and warnings have gone out that it is about to hit Korea, as the city I live in is only an hours flight from Japan it is expected to hit us shortly, even now the clouds have rolled in black and it is raining. I've heard the horror stories but really I think it's a lot of bollocks where Korean people are just exaggerating the effects of everything. I'm looking forward to it as there is nothing like a good storm to put you to sleep, which due to the night time humidity I have been struggling for 5 hours sleep a night.
So the Monsoon season has ended, Typhoon season has started, as soon as that finishes it will be the summer proper where I am told by my students that the temperature will rise to the mid thirties and the humidity will stay the same. Great, no sleeping for me.
Did I mention I had been to the Korean Cup? as well as the Derby and tomorrow am off to the races again?
Trip to the D.M.Z in three Weekends, that should be bloody interesting!
Monday, July 02, 2007
More Korean Gun Stories...
I've been a bit slack on the blog lately, two weeks ago I was quite crook, I couldn't eat or drink much and the beer was definitely out of the question! I struggled through work only to find out on a Friday that I had to be in Seoul for a teaching conference by 10am the next morning so I was not very happy. I thought a free weekend in Seoul would be sweet but it wasn't. I spent all day listening to bollocks, found a hotel and for the first time since I don't know when I was in bed by 7pm! I had to go all the way to one of the largest cities in Asia to get some decent sleep! I woke up at 9 and was back at the conference by 10 and out of it by 6pm. They even gave us an exam at the end of it! More bollocks!
This week I was feeling much better and am now holding down food, I went out on Tuesday with my colleagues which was very cool, ended up in a noribaan singing my heart out, Wednesday I went to a leaving party for a mate who went back home to Australia. The bar was pretty cool and was known for it's flavoured soju. On Wednesday I was in Home plus and Italian red wine was on special, so being me I bought the lot, 18 bottles for $55, not too bad a drop.
Since I had all this wine at my house I decided to have a party, what a night, this time it wasn't security guards with guns but the actual police! I got a class in 5 minutes so I will write it another time. Don't worry, no one shed huge quantities of blood...
This week I was feeling much better and am now holding down food, I went out on Tuesday with my colleagues which was very cool, ended up in a noribaan singing my heart out, Wednesday I went to a leaving party for a mate who went back home to Australia. The bar was pretty cool and was known for it's flavoured soju. On Wednesday I was in Home plus and Italian red wine was on special, so being me I bought the lot, 18 bottles for $55, not too bad a drop.
Since I had all this wine at my house I decided to have a party, what a night, this time it wasn't security guards with guns but the actual police! I got a class in 5 minutes so I will write it another time. Don't worry, no one shed huge quantities of blood...
Friday, June 08, 2007
Last weekend.
The Beach Soccer tournament was a bit of a disaster, not for the team but for me. I played in the first game and that was that, cause I was hung over and couldn't be bothered. We managed to draw our first game 2-2, it was a shear fluke, the opposition were running rings around us, they scored two very quick goals and then started taking the mickey out of us by fooling around with all sorts of flash kicks and stuff. Buddha only knows how we did it but we scored twice in the final two minutes to level the game. We had Nate.com as our enforcer, he was also hung over which made him angry and as he is the only guy with any level of fitness he ran around charging into everyone and I reckon it was cause of him we didn't lose.
Our second game we won! I sat on the bench praying not to go on, this game was a little nasty, lots of bollocks going on. For some reason we didn't play the third game, Sometimes you just can not work out what is actually happening over here but our captain was given a choice of two bags, one said win and one said lose, he chose the winning bag which gave us two wins and a draw from three which placed us in the final 8. Not bad considering we were all out at an all you can drink for $15 bar till 5 that morning and playing by 10am. Bloody Whisky.
In our quarterfinal we got thrashed, then I went and ate at a nearby Indian Restaurant which was a tad disappointing.
One cool thing was we all got on Korean T.V, the festival was televised and a bunch of white people playing soccer is apparently quite interesting to Koreans. The Busan soccer team turned up and that got the dancing girls quite excited which did actually manage to get me interested.
I had Wednesday off work cause it was Memorial Day (just like ANZAC Day), lots of apartments draped flags out their windows. I went to the movies and then got drunk.
I'm off somewhere to an Island somewhere with some people somehow. Not too sure how I'm involved but I'm getting a sailing lesson out of it. I think it's around the Busan Area but I'm not sure. I'll tell you on Monday.
Our second game we won! I sat on the bench praying not to go on, this game was a little nasty, lots of bollocks going on. For some reason we didn't play the third game, Sometimes you just can not work out what is actually happening over here but our captain was given a choice of two bags, one said win and one said lose, he chose the winning bag which gave us two wins and a draw from three which placed us in the final 8. Not bad considering we were all out at an all you can drink for $15 bar till 5 that morning and playing by 10am. Bloody Whisky.
In our quarterfinal we got thrashed, then I went and ate at a nearby Indian Restaurant which was a tad disappointing.
One cool thing was we all got on Korean T.V, the festival was televised and a bunch of white people playing soccer is apparently quite interesting to Koreans. The Busan soccer team turned up and that got the dancing girls quite excited which did actually manage to get me interested.
I had Wednesday off work cause it was Memorial Day (just like ANZAC Day), lots of apartments draped flags out their windows. I went to the movies and then got drunk.
I'm off somewhere to an Island somewhere with some people somehow. Not too sure how I'm involved but I'm getting a sailing lesson out of it. I think it's around the Busan Area but I'm not sure. I'll tell you on Monday.
Friday, June 01, 2007
My Debut.
This Sunday I am making my Korean sporting debut, it ain't cricket but I'll give it a shot. I'm in the Gimhae Foreigners Beach Soccer team playing on Sunday.
32 teams, 8 groups, top of each group goes through to the next round.
12 minute halves, 5 minute break, 7 a side, as many reserves as you want, pitch 20m by 30m.
Starts at 9.30am so staying the night at the beach.
On Saturday going to my first ever Baseball game, the Lotte Giants are playing, they are the Busan team. All teams are owned by corporations and Lotte has it's capitalist fingers in every money making pie in Korea, from chocolate milk to live octopus. They are playing the Kia team who make cars. Dunno where they are from.
Should be good.
32 teams, 8 groups, top of each group goes through to the next round.
12 minute halves, 5 minute break, 7 a side, as many reserves as you want, pitch 20m by 30m.
Starts at 9.30am so staying the night at the beach.
On Saturday going to my first ever Baseball game, the Lotte Giants are playing, they are the Busan team. All teams are owned by corporations and Lotte has it's capitalist fingers in every money making pie in Korea, from chocolate milk to live octopus. They are playing the Kia team who make cars. Dunno where they are from.
Should be good.
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Sheep Shagging
I heard a good joke, it appeals to me cause it is a little bit of self depreciating Kiwi humour followed by taking the piss of the Aussies.
An Aussie farmer came over to New Zealand to buy some ewes of his Kiwi farming mate, they were walking the boundary of the farm, checking out the lie of the land, talking about crop rotation, water supplies and reminiscing about driving their tractors up Parliaments steps when they spot a ewe with her head well and truly stuck in the fence.
The Kiwi walks up to it first (after all it is his farm) drops his mole skins, to be absolutely sure she won't run away he carefully lifts up her hind legs and places them in his gum boots and shags the ewe like his life depended on it.
After he is finished he asks his Aussie mate
"Wanna piece of this?"
In that laconic Aussie way he replies
"Sure, why not?"
So he walks over, drops his mole skins, bends over and puts his head in the fence.
An Aussie farmer came over to New Zealand to buy some ewes of his Kiwi farming mate, they were walking the boundary of the farm, checking out the lie of the land, talking about crop rotation, water supplies and reminiscing about driving their tractors up Parliaments steps when they spot a ewe with her head well and truly stuck in the fence.
The Kiwi walks up to it first (after all it is his farm) drops his mole skins, to be absolutely sure she won't run away he carefully lifts up her hind legs and places them in his gum boots and shags the ewe like his life depended on it.
After he is finished he asks his Aussie mate
"Wanna piece of this?"
In that laconic Aussie way he replies
"Sure, why not?"
So he walks over, drops his mole skins, bends over and puts his head in the fence.
Monday, May 28, 2007
Korean Derby.
I went to the Korean Derby, run at The Seoul Race Park, the horse that won absolutely annihilated the others, in a Derby where the best 3 year old horses run it was amazing to see such a good horse. He was boxed in on the rails, about 400 out the jockey actually stood up, looked around him, slowed downed to get a gap pushed his way through to the outside, shot to the lead with about 200 to go, another horse tried to keep up but no one had to the class to even come close and waltzed away by 5 lenghts.
The race track, or park as they are called over here was huge, There was easily 80,000 people there, the noise was tremendous! You have to buy betting vouchers which you then place in an automatic betting machine along with your picks, it was very quick and efficient as you had to have written down on the betting slip exactly what you wanted before you got there so no body was pissing around talking to the TAB operator.
I was sitting in the foreigners lounge, it was very comfortable and classy but there is no drinking at any Korean tracks and they don't have any chips and hot dogs but that is the only complaint that I have about it. They even had two waterfalls there!
I made a couple of bucks as well.
The whole trip to Seoul was pretty cool, I finally got to Itaewon which is renown for
being full of foreigners, I gotta tell you It was like I was in a film made in New York, I have never seen so many black people in my life, people were gambling on street corners, blokes doing their best to look tough on other street corners and sluts tryin to look their best to everyone!
And it was in Itaewon where I struck gold, I went to the Aussie Shop and for the first time since December I ate 2 Sausage Rolls, 2 Steak Pies and some Fish and Chips! Those Aussies aren't that bad!
Of course I got blind drunk and apparently I was carried home but I dispute that..if only I could remember.
The race track, or park as they are called over here was huge, There was easily 80,000 people there, the noise was tremendous! You have to buy betting vouchers which you then place in an automatic betting machine along with your picks, it was very quick and efficient as you had to have written down on the betting slip exactly what you wanted before you got there so no body was pissing around talking to the TAB operator.
I was sitting in the foreigners lounge, it was very comfortable and classy but there is no drinking at any Korean tracks and they don't have any chips and hot dogs but that is the only complaint that I have about it. They even had two waterfalls there!
I made a couple of bucks as well.
The whole trip to Seoul was pretty cool, I finally got to Itaewon which is renown for
being full of foreigners, I gotta tell you It was like I was in a film made in New York, I have never seen so many black people in my life, people were gambling on street corners, blokes doing their best to look tough on other street corners and sluts tryin to look their best to everyone!
And it was in Itaewon where I struck gold, I went to the Aussie Shop and for the first time since December I ate 2 Sausage Rolls, 2 Steak Pies and some Fish and Chips! Those Aussies aren't that bad!
Of course I got blind drunk and apparently I was carried home but I dispute that..if only I could remember.
Friday, May 25, 2007
Monday, May 21, 2007
I refuse to drink any more Bacardi 151
I've just had another great weekend, Friday I went to a bar I have never been to before, it is called the Wa Bar and I started drinking XXXX before moving on to the Long Island Ice tea's. I think it was the first time a large group of Whities have ever turned up en masse, I thought the bar staff coped remarkably well, a few funny incidents took place which will be talked about for a while!
The first was our Aussie Ajuma( A polite term of endearment for an older married woman). She normally has a bottle of Soju in her bag and buys coke to mix it with. Well, we were sitting around a bar that had about a hundred beers sitting on ice in the middle of it and you just grab whatever one you want, drink it and pay at the end. Unfortunately for her a bottle of Soju looks remarkably like a bottle of beer and when the bar staff saw her putting her Soju back in her bag they thought she was pinching some beer (Some stories came out later of a crazy foreigner who made a habit of paying for his beer with his five finger discount card). So they confronted her, she has got a wee bit of a wild streak to her, after all she is from Tasmania! so she told them all to @#$% off until she realised what had actually happened so she pulled out the Soju and showed them and they were most apologetic and offered her a free drink, which she refused!
That had us all in hysterics but the other incident went too far and in my opinion was out of line. A mistake got made somewhere along the line with a chicks change. I've worked in bars and know that these things happen and who really cares about $9 anyway? I don't know if the mistake was made by the bar tender giving the wrong change or the chick not giving enough money in the first place but she thought she was owed nine bucks and became very irate and belligerent, charging up and down the bar yelling and screaming and giving all of us foreigners a bad name. Stage 2 culture shock my arse.
I had a good time on Saturday arvo, I went and watch some of my mates do a Kok Sol Won demonstration, this a form of Martial arts and was pretty cool. Then I discovered a new Vietnamese restaurant which is amazing, just around the corner from my house and I even had lunch there a few hours ago. That night I went to another mates house to watch the F.A Cup final, I 'm not really that interested in it and most finals in all sports are pretty boring to watch but we did have many litres of beer, 4 bottles of Scotch and that bloody Bicardi 151. That shit is 70% proof and it was the Gimhae Hat Committee's punishment bottle. I can't even remember what my mistake was but down the hatch it went. No more. I thought Manchester United won the game but it turns out I was wrong.
On Sunday I got woken up to go walking around the old town, it was pretty cool just wandering around buying stupid pointless stuff and weaning away the hang over, I got my self a camouflage floppy hat, a C.D Muse: Origins of Symmetry and some Vanilla Custard from Pakistan. I found an Asian Food mart and a Foreign food mart where to my delight I discovered that you can buy a leg of lamb. Now I just need to find an oven to cook it in. Another good feed and home for an early night.
I've got some cool stuff lined up this week, a trip to a Water Fall on Thursday (A day of work cause it's Buddha's Birthday) and a trip to Seoul on the weekend for the Korean Derby.
The first was our Aussie Ajuma( A polite term of endearment for an older married woman). She normally has a bottle of Soju in her bag and buys coke to mix it with. Well, we were sitting around a bar that had about a hundred beers sitting on ice in the middle of it and you just grab whatever one you want, drink it and pay at the end. Unfortunately for her a bottle of Soju looks remarkably like a bottle of beer and when the bar staff saw her putting her Soju back in her bag they thought she was pinching some beer (Some stories came out later of a crazy foreigner who made a habit of paying for his beer with his five finger discount card). So they confronted her, she has got a wee bit of a wild streak to her, after all she is from Tasmania! so she told them all to @#$% off until she realised what had actually happened so she pulled out the Soju and showed them and they were most apologetic and offered her a free drink, which she refused!
That had us all in hysterics but the other incident went too far and in my opinion was out of line. A mistake got made somewhere along the line with a chicks change. I've worked in bars and know that these things happen and who really cares about $9 anyway? I don't know if the mistake was made by the bar tender giving the wrong change or the chick not giving enough money in the first place but she thought she was owed nine bucks and became very irate and belligerent, charging up and down the bar yelling and screaming and giving all of us foreigners a bad name. Stage 2 culture shock my arse.
I had a good time on Saturday arvo, I went and watch some of my mates do a Kok Sol Won demonstration, this a form of Martial arts and was pretty cool. Then I discovered a new Vietnamese restaurant which is amazing, just around the corner from my house and I even had lunch there a few hours ago. That night I went to another mates house to watch the F.A Cup final, I 'm not really that interested in it and most finals in all sports are pretty boring to watch but we did have many litres of beer, 4 bottles of Scotch and that bloody Bicardi 151. That shit is 70% proof and it was the Gimhae Hat Committee's punishment bottle. I can't even remember what my mistake was but down the hatch it went. No more. I thought Manchester United won the game but it turns out I was wrong.
On Sunday I got woken up to go walking around the old town, it was pretty cool just wandering around buying stupid pointless stuff and weaning away the hang over, I got my self a camouflage floppy hat, a C.D Muse: Origins of Symmetry and some Vanilla Custard from Pakistan. I found an Asian Food mart and a Foreign food mart where to my delight I discovered that you can buy a leg of lamb. Now I just need to find an oven to cook it in. Another good feed and home for an early night.
I've got some cool stuff lined up this week, a trip to a Water Fall on Thursday (A day of work cause it's Buddha's Birthday) and a trip to Seoul on the weekend for the Korean Derby.
Friday, May 18, 2007
Buddha's Birthday
Not much has been happening in my life for awhile, the usual antics are still going strong but nothing out of the ordinary. I did find out that it is not recommended to go swimming in the local park and last night went to the local University called Inje for their O week, the same stuff happens as at Massey.
Tomorrow I'm off to the races again, and the following Sunday going to Seoul to watch the Korean Derby, they got a Foreigners Club there so it will be cool to wear my suit and pick many winners.
Going to a Dinner Party on Saturday, I'll turn it into a party without the dinner.
Next Thursday is a day off, Thank's Buddha, it's his birthday. I suppose it's a bit like Christmas with a birthday party and all but Koreans also have a day off for Christmas so I will write to Helen Clark and explain that N.Z should also have 25th May off cause Buddha never did any harm to us Kiwi's.
It's a good thing that we have Thursday off as on Wednesday night the Champions League Soccer Final is on so we can make a party out of it. Not that I understand too much about it but my Pommie mates are into it so I'll tag along.
See Ya.
Tomorrow I'm off to the races again, and the following Sunday going to Seoul to watch the Korean Derby, they got a Foreigners Club there so it will be cool to wear my suit and pick many winners.
Going to a Dinner Party on Saturday, I'll turn it into a party without the dinner.
Next Thursday is a day off, Thank's Buddha, it's his birthday. I suppose it's a bit like Christmas with a birthday party and all but Koreans also have a day off for Christmas so I will write to Helen Clark and explain that N.Z should also have 25th May off cause Buddha never did any harm to us Kiwi's.
It's a good thing that we have Thursday off as on Wednesday night the Champions League Soccer Final is on so we can make a party out of it. Not that I understand too much about it but my Pommie mates are into it so I'll tag along.
See Ya.
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Weird Korean Experience
Last night I had yet another weird Korean experience, I was in the supermarket and I saw this foreigner staring at me, I checked her out and she wasn't just staring at me she was looking at me with an almost longing for something. I was a wee bit creeped out about it so walked away to the alcohol section. After browsing through the specials out of the corner of my eye I again caught a glimpse of her. It was as though she was penetrating right through me. By now I was a little bit worried I had never experienced this before so I graped a dozen and headed to the check out.
I had to get out of there and away from her.
So I was in the queue and she came right up to me. This woman was in her 50's and as she was right in front of me I could see that she was actually quite upset and sad. She said to me
"I'm sorry for staring at you like that , I didn't mean to offend you, it's just that you look a hell of a lot like my dead son."
By now I didn't know quite what to think and I just stood there feeling sorry for her. She pulled out a photo of him and I didn't look a thing like him, well apart from the ginger hair. as I was speechless she just continued talking and eventually I realised that she really had something to say but was beating around the bush. After a few minutes, (by now we had left the queue and were back inside the shop) she asks me a favour
"I know this will sound weird but I would really appreciate it if when I leave you could say Bye Mom to me"
She was Nth American so that's why I wrote Mom and not the correct Mum.
I just wanted the situation to be over so I agreed. I was in two minds as to whether or not do it so pretended to read the Korean labels on the shelf nearby. I looked up and she was just about leaving, she looked at me, smiled in a depressed kind of way so I did it for her.
She walked away with her bags and I went back into the queue with my beers, the check out chick says to me Chil Man Won. I'm thinking did I hear her right? she just asked for 70,000 won (About N.Z$90) for my dozen beers. I point to my beers, shrug, she says something in Korean, I catch the words omma (Mother) adul (Son) and ton (money).
The bitch had told her that her son would pay!
I throw down 10,000 won for my beers and charge out in the direction I saw her go. I was valiantly looking around when I see her get into a cab, I raced over, yanked open the door, scared the shit out of the driver and started to pull her out of the taxi by her leg.
Just like I'm pulling yours now.
I had to get out of there and away from her.
So I was in the queue and she came right up to me. This woman was in her 50's and as she was right in front of me I could see that she was actually quite upset and sad. She said to me
"I'm sorry for staring at you like that , I didn't mean to offend you, it's just that you look a hell of a lot like my dead son."
By now I didn't know quite what to think and I just stood there feeling sorry for her. She pulled out a photo of him and I didn't look a thing like him, well apart from the ginger hair. as I was speechless she just continued talking and eventually I realised that she really had something to say but was beating around the bush. After a few minutes, (by now we had left the queue and were back inside the shop) she asks me a favour
"I know this will sound weird but I would really appreciate it if when I leave you could say Bye Mom to me"
She was Nth American so that's why I wrote Mom and not the correct Mum.
I just wanted the situation to be over so I agreed. I was in two minds as to whether or not do it so pretended to read the Korean labels on the shelf nearby. I looked up and she was just about leaving, she looked at me, smiled in a depressed kind of way so I did it for her.
She walked away with her bags and I went back into the queue with my beers, the check out chick says to me Chil Man Won. I'm thinking did I hear her right? she just asked for 70,000 won (About N.Z$90) for my dozen beers. I point to my beers, shrug, she says something in Korean, I catch the words omma (Mother) adul (Son) and ton (money).
The bitch had told her that her son would pay!
I throw down 10,000 won for my beers and charge out in the direction I saw her go. I was valiantly looking around when I see her get into a cab, I raced over, yanked open the door, scared the shit out of the driver and started to pull her out of the taxi by her leg.
Just like I'm pulling yours now.
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
Fireworks and Coconuts.
I've just finished work, so I cleaned out my troublesome fish tank and thought I would write and say what's up. Got a new teacher at school today, she seems pretty cool, got a nice smile. My weekend was very similar to the last couple. Friday got drunk and went to a Nori bann, got home in time for a few hours sleep before heading off to the races, where I won $30, came home, slept some more, went to Jang Yu for a bit of a house party followed by a trip to Changwon to see a band play at O'Briens, followed by again getting home in the sunshine, sleeping till 5pm then getting up and being constructive.
On Sunday the opening ceremony of the Gaya Festival was held. Gaya is the name of one of the Korean dynasties that was in power in the area where I live, basically the bottom third of the Korean Peninsula. It was pretty cool, there was traditional dancing and costumes and the normal boring speaches which are even worse when you can not understand them and an awesome Fireworks display. I also bought a nasty sling shot, an evil looking knife and a coconut. I drank the milk from the coconut and then remembered that I am particularly partial to the odd dose of Malibu. Went to the movies to see Double Target, over here t is called shooter for some reason, don't ask me why, I just live here. On the way to the movies I bought a litre of Malibu, my mate who also bought a slingshot and knife bought some Johhnie Red to fill his hip flask that he bought and off we went.
Drinking Malibu out off a coconut that you had bought off a Korean shark outside the movie theatre while wearing jandals with my jeans was quite a surreal experience. As if I don't get enough looks from the locals any way, but throw a coconut into the mix and your just asking for trouble. I just told the curious people that I was American.
On Sunday the opening ceremony of the Gaya Festival was held. Gaya is the name of one of the Korean dynasties that was in power in the area where I live, basically the bottom third of the Korean Peninsula. It was pretty cool, there was traditional dancing and costumes and the normal boring speaches which are even worse when you can not understand them and an awesome Fireworks display. I also bought a nasty sling shot, an evil looking knife and a coconut. I drank the milk from the coconut and then remembered that I am particularly partial to the odd dose of Malibu. Went to the movies to see Double Target, over here t is called shooter for some reason, don't ask me why, I just live here. On the way to the movies I bought a litre of Malibu, my mate who also bought a slingshot and knife bought some Johhnie Red to fill his hip flask that he bought and off we went.
Drinking Malibu out off a coconut that you had bought off a Korean shark outside the movie theatre while wearing jandals with my jeans was quite a surreal experience. As if I don't get enough looks from the locals any way, but throw a coconut into the mix and your just asking for trouble. I just told the curious people that I was American.
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Work
At school my students write a diary and it is my job to correct it, I kid turned in a set of stories that I gotta tell you as I inspired it, I'll write it down exactly as I recieved it. Its from a 9 year old writing in his second language.
friday.
I fish pet
fish is cute.
I have a very many money.
I'll have fish.
Monday
i pet a 3 Goldfish.
pet a fish is very excited.
wednesday.
Today too, I feed a gold fish.
But fish can't moved!
I'm very surprised.
I touch a fish, but fish can't moved
Fish is Dead!
So, I'm sad.
friday.
I fish pet
fish is cute.
I have a very many money.
I'll have fish.
Monday
i pet a 3 Goldfish.
pet a fish is very excited.
wednesday.
Today too, I feed a gold fish.
But fish can't moved!
I'm very surprised.
I touch a fish, but fish can't moved
Fish is Dead!
So, I'm sad.
A Mate Sent Me This.
MATES by Murray Hartin
I've traveled down some dusty roads,
Both crooked tracks and straight,
And I have learnt life's noblest creed
Summed up in one word, "Mate".
I'm thinkin' back across the years,
A thing I do of late
And these words stick between me ears
"You gotta have a mate."
Someone who'll take you as you are
Regardless of your state
And stand as firm as Ayers Rock
Because he is your mate.
Me mind goes back to '43
To slavery and hate
When man's one chance to stay alive
Depended on his mate.
With bamboo for a billy-can
And bamboo for a plate,
A bamboo paradise for bugs
Was bed for me and mate.
You'd slip and slither through the mud
And curse your rotten fate
But then you'd hear a quiet word
"Don't drop your bundle, mate."
And though it's all so long ago
This truth I have to state,
A man don't know what lonely means
'til he has lost his mate.
If there's a life that follers this,
If there's a Golden Gate,
The welcome that I wanna hear
Is just "Goodonya mate".
And so to all who ask us why
We keep these special dates,
Like ANZAC Day,
I tell 'em "Why?!
We're thinkin' of our mates."
And when I've left the driver's seat
And 'anded in me plates
I'll tell Ol' Peter at the door
"I've come to join me mates."
I've traveled down some dusty roads,
Both crooked tracks and straight,
And I have learnt life's noblest creed
Summed up in one word, "Mate".
I'm thinkin' back across the years,
A thing I do of late
And these words stick between me ears
"You gotta have a mate."
Someone who'll take you as you are
Regardless of your state
And stand as firm as Ayers Rock
Because he is your mate.
Me mind goes back to '43
To slavery and hate
When man's one chance to stay alive
Depended on his mate.
With bamboo for a billy-can
And bamboo for a plate,
A bamboo paradise for bugs
Was bed for me and mate.
You'd slip and slither through the mud
And curse your rotten fate
But then you'd hear a quiet word
"Don't drop your bundle, mate."
And though it's all so long ago
This truth I have to state,
A man don't know what lonely means
'til he has lost his mate.
If there's a life that follers this,
If there's a Golden Gate,
The welcome that I wanna hear
Is just "Goodonya mate".
And so to all who ask us why
We keep these special dates,
Like ANZAC Day,
I tell 'em "Why?!
We're thinkin' of our mates."
And when I've left the driver's seat
And 'anded in me plates
I'll tell Ol' Peter at the door
"I've come to join me mates."
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
The Weekend that Was...
I know that I blatantly stole this title off my brother (or is that bother?) but I know he won't care, On Friday night I was meant to go to to a party but that got canned and I ended up at the local followed by the ever present Nori bann, those places are really cool, I would never too it back home but the rules don't work when your in another country. Myself and My Pommie mate belted out some Emo style Oasis (just kidding, Jangles CALM DOWN.)
Just a thought, as I'm now teaching English i had better get this straight, does the full stop in the last sentence come before or after the closing bracket? I'm pretty sure it's inside but Mum, write and let me know.
I had Mickey D's for breakfast before going home as the sun rose. Then I was up for the races at 11. I was in the shower when the phone rang so I jumped out, dripping wet, bollock naked and slipped, slammed my knee into the corner of the step leading up to my bathroom, threw up (from the pain, not the from last nights efforts) , (Hehe, no full stop required there but do I have the comma in the correct position? Is it required but then can you have two sets of bracketed words next to each other without any thing in between?) answered the phone, limped to the bus stop to get to the track, discovered I had missed the bus, bought some chicken and beer and jumped in a cab. I was limping all day and night, pretty sweet now but still purple. It did also mean I couldn't dance all night, OH WELL, WHATEVER, NEVERMIND.
Those bastards at the gate confiscated my beer! but don't worry I successfully held on to the chicken. This Rooster looks after his own. Today, I only lost 30 bucks which was a much better effort than last weeks $88 shocker. As I left I got my bevvies back which were promptly downed in the taxi ride to Busan where we went to Hyundai for all you can knock back for 15 smackers.
Before going to the pub we had to wait a while for the dam thing to open so we bought some brews from a Dairy, sat outside on those ubiquitous white plastic tables and chairs which are most probably imported from the Hastings Warehouse and played cards for about an hour and a half. The pub rocked, had a good laugh, took my mate who was blind to eat, she fell asleep with her head on her plate, finally got her home, got home myself, slept till 5pm then went out for a nice polite conversation on Sunday evening. After staggering home on Monday morning I reflected on what a pleasant evening with scintillating conversation it actually was.
Poker tonight.
Anzac Day tomorrow, I have organised for us Korean Anzacs to go to the War Memorial (This memorial is for the Japan Occupation and the Korean War) in my city for some coffee and Rum. I dunno if we have to do it at 6am our local time or 6am Kiwi time. What are the rules?
May All living Kiwis and Aussies give a thought to those fullas who went to war for the future of us all.
Just a thought, as I'm now teaching English i had better get this straight, does the full stop in the last sentence come before or after the closing bracket? I'm pretty sure it's inside but Mum, write and let me know.
I had Mickey D's for breakfast before going home as the sun rose. Then I was up for the races at 11. I was in the shower when the phone rang so I jumped out, dripping wet, bollock naked and slipped, slammed my knee into the corner of the step leading up to my bathroom, threw up (from the pain, not the from last nights efforts) , (Hehe, no full stop required there but do I have the comma in the correct position? Is it required but then can you have two sets of bracketed words next to each other without any thing in between?) answered the phone, limped to the bus stop to get to the track, discovered I had missed the bus, bought some chicken and beer and jumped in a cab. I was limping all day and night, pretty sweet now but still purple. It did also mean I couldn't dance all night, OH WELL, WHATEVER, NEVERMIND.
Those bastards at the gate confiscated my beer! but don't worry I successfully held on to the chicken. This Rooster looks after his own. Today, I only lost 30 bucks which was a much better effort than last weeks $88 shocker. As I left I got my bevvies back which were promptly downed in the taxi ride to Busan where we went to Hyundai for all you can knock back for 15 smackers.
Before going to the pub we had to wait a while for the dam thing to open so we bought some brews from a Dairy, sat outside on those ubiquitous white plastic tables and chairs which are most probably imported from the Hastings Warehouse and played cards for about an hour and a half. The pub rocked, had a good laugh, took my mate who was blind to eat, she fell asleep with her head on her plate, finally got her home, got home myself, slept till 5pm then went out for a nice polite conversation on Sunday evening. After staggering home on Monday morning I reflected on what a pleasant evening with scintillating conversation it actually was.
Poker tonight.
Anzac Day tomorrow, I have organised for us Korean Anzacs to go to the War Memorial (This memorial is for the Japan Occupation and the Korean War) in my city for some coffee and Rum. I dunno if we have to do it at 6am our local time or 6am Kiwi time. What are the rules?
May All living Kiwis and Aussies give a thought to those fullas who went to war for the future of us all.
Friday, April 20, 2007
Alcoholic Hepatitis?
Is this just one of those new fang'dangle Buzzwords for a drunk?
http://www.stuff.co.nz/4032601a1823.html
http://www.stuff.co.nz/4032601a1823.html
Modern Day Prince of Batsmen.
Tonight I am going to my first Korean House Party. I'm sure they still don't understand what parties are all about but I've promised them some Kiwi drinking games in exchange for some Korean ones. This will be interesting...
Off to the Gee Gee's again tomorrow followed by a night in Busan.
Brian Lara, your a Legend.
Off to the Gee Gee's again tomorrow followed by a night in Busan.
Brian Lara, your a Legend.
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